LA Times: OK, I'm going to use the topic of poet to transition into Rob Lowe. He got quite the attention with his comments that there's a prejudice against attractive people. What did you think of his comments?
Nick Offerman: Um, well, actually when that came out, I arranged for a 12-piece string quartet to speed over to his house and play an elaborate fugue. I didn't realize what a rough time he was having. I would've been giving him a piggyback ride to set if I knew that things were so tough.
I had a really small period and I was like “maybe I just miscarried a tiny fetus” and then I realized I haven’t had sex since Columbus landed in the Americas
I realize this sounds like I fucked Columbus. I want to clarify. Just so there’s no confusion, I did. I did fuck Columbus.
Guest Submission #27!
This weeks guest submission comes to us from outstanding comedian and man amongst not quite men, Dan Gill! And it incorporates two of my favorite things. Try to guess which two!
(If you’d like to submit an Untitled Screenplay of your own, just email it to firstname.lastname@example.org)
Goodbye to one of the the world’s greatest performers,
Mickey Rooney (September 23, 1920 - April 6, 2014)